QUESTION: Which
ashrama or stage of life is superior-sannyasa
or married life?
ANSWER: Swami Vivekananda in his
lecture 'Each is Great in His Own Place' in the Karma Yoga
says that both sannyasa and married life are great, if their respective
rules and principles are strictly followed. In order to illustrate it, Swamiji
cites the instance of a young sannyasin who rejects a handsome princess as his
wife and a kingdom offered to him, and the example of a householder bird who,
along with himself, sacrifices his whole family for the entertainment of guests
[which is the duty of a good householder]. Both the stages are good enough only
if one lives them sincerely, keeping the ideal in mind.
According to Sri
Ramakrishna, there are certain advantages in the grihastha ashrama (the householder
stage). A householder does not have to go out to beg food and he can do his spiritual
practice, as if fighting from within a fort (his house). It is also said that grihastha
ashrama is the basis of all the other three ashramas. Brahmacharis, the
young novitiates, come from and depend on grihsathas. It is grihsathas who
become vanaprasthis (forest dweller) and grihasthas sustain the sannyasins by
providing them food and sustenance. Mahabharata mentions the greatness of
grihastha ashrama in unequivocal terms.
QUESTION: In the grihastha ashrama one has to face lot of temptations and problems. How to handle them?
ANSWER: Problems are everywhere—in
every ashrama. Sannyasa ashrama is also not without difficulties and problems.
If it were so easy to become a Sannyasin, everyone would have become one! But if
there are problems, there are solutions also. Sri Ramakrishna has advised that
one must do spiritual practice in solitude before entering into the grihastha
ashrama. Unfortunately, this is not done in most of the cases. Hence, the other
solution is to seek holy company and to go into solitude off and on for shorter
or longer periods. Satsang or holy company and svadhyaya or self-study of mind
and scriptures helps us to face life and strengthen us to counter all
temptations.
QUESTION: How to sustain our spiritual
aspirations and remember what we hear?
ANSWER: Whenever one forgets what one hears in spiritual
retreats or what one reads in the holy books, one's spiritual aspirations are badly
affected. In order to sustain them, one should do regular spiritual practice
and svadhyaya. One should deeply meditate upon whatever one has heard in a
lecture or read in the book. Also, one should chalk out a plan of spiritual
living after the retreat and try to implement it. That is how we can make the effect
more durable and lasting.
QUESTION: How to avoid
getting entangled in the trap of worldliness?
ANSWER: Worldly entanglements,
let us understand, will always remain around. One will have to get over them
with the help of a strong will power and right attitude. We should plan out our
life in such a way that we gradually reduce our worldly entanglements and
devote more and more time to higher life. The Hindu view of life says that the
very purpose of a householder's life is to gradually fulfill one's worldly
duties and withdraw from active life-after one's son or daughter takes up the
responsibilities. This is the concept of
vanaprastha or retirement, when both husband and wife
devote more and more time to spiritual practices.
QUESTION: How much, of one's income and time should the householders
spend for the service of God?
ANSWER: In Sikhism, there is an
instruction that ten percent of one's income must be spent for Guru or the
religion. In Islam, two percent of the income is enjoined to be spent for the
poor. Such guidelines are in every religion. Even the Gita advocates that one
must first make offerings in the yajna and must partake of only the remaining
food. According to Sri Krishna, one who eats without offering to God is a
thief.
One will have to follow
one's own norms for devoting one's time and money to service. The problem
arises because of our greed. If we can restrict our greed, larger amount can be
spent for the service of the poor and of God.
QUESTION: What should be the daily routine of
a householder devotee so that there is a balance between work, spiritual
practice and service?
ANSWER: We should begin the day
with spiritual practice. Get up early in the morning at least half an hour
before sunrise. That is the "time
when Nature is quiet and one can easily meditate. One can do Japa, meditation
or chant some hymns. Gradually one can increase the time of Japa and
meditation. One may also do a little of ritualistic worship, if time permits. After
this, one can spend some time in reading of scriptures like Gita and the Gospel
of Sri Ramakrishna. Next, one can do a little physical exercise or yoga asanas,
or do some free-hand exercises or take a brisk walk.
After breakfast, one may go
to one's workplace. If one gets some time during the day, at the work place or
at home, one may further read some holy scriptures, thus maintaining a
spiritual mood. In the evening also, one must meditate and do Japa regularly.
Before going to bed, again read some scriptures and/or do Japa.
So far as service is
concerned, it can be done whenever occasion arises. One may find some voluntary
organizations doing welfare activities and can associate with them. We should
try to help the poor and needy whenever possible—in a spirit of worshiping God
in them.
QUESTION: Which is
more important—serving others or looking after the family?
ANSWER: A balance must be struck
between service to others and family responsibilities. Both are important.
QUESTION: Which comes
first—service or character building?
ANSWER: Character building and service must go hand in
hand. They are not contradictory but complementary. Service done in the right
way will build your character. Building a great character itself is a great service
to society. 